Our words to our children when they are upset can be either a soothing balm or an unintentional trigger. These phrases are like emotional scaffolding; they help build your child’s resilience and understanding of their feelings. (When child is upset)
It’s alright to feel upset; it’s healthy to let it out.
As your child’s emotion guide, your first lesson is that emotions are a natural part of life. They’re meant to be felt and acknowledged.
By doing this, you validate their feelings and show them that emotions, even the difficult ones, are not something to be afraid of. It’s our role to accept these emotions while also teaching them how to manage them.
I hear you. I’m here for you. I’ll stay with you.
One of the most valuable gifts we can offer another person is our presence during their emotional storms. We must extend this gift to our children as well.
Just being there with them in their moment of emotional turmoil is a profound act of support.
It’s okay to feel how you feel. It’s not okay to _______.
Sometimes, it’s necessary to set limits on how your child expresses their emotions. Emotions themselves aren’t the issue; it’s how they’re expressed.
For example, hitting is not okay. You’re saying, “I won’t allow you to hit, but I will help you handle your anger. Being angry is okay, but hitting is not.”
How you feel right now won’t last forever. It’s okay to feel this way, and it will pass.
In the heat of the moment, a child often believes that their feelings will never change. They think their world is collapsing. Remember those times they declared, “This is the worst day ever!”?
Moments later, they’re cheerful again. Remind them that emotions are temporary, and this can ease the intensity of their feelings.
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Let’s take a breath, take a break, sit down, and pause for a minute…
Sitting with an emotion and allowing it to be felt is challenging but valuable. Teaching your child that acknowledging and feeling their emotions is the path to release is crucial.
When emotions run high, it’s alright to sit with them for a moment, perhaps in silence or by asking your child how they feel.
You are good and kind.
Dysregulation or experiencing anger does not make your child a bad person. Everyone makes mistakes when emotions run high.
Reinforce the message that, no matter their feelings, they are inherently good and kind. This fosters a sense of self-worth and empathy.
I’ll be here when you need me.
While it’s important to validate your child’s emotions, sometimes, they amplify their feelings to seek attention.
When they refuse comfort and cry harder, it’s a sign that they might need one-on-one time later, when they’re calmer.
CONCLUSION
These phrases aren’t just words; they are powerful tools for nurturing emotional intelligence and resilience in your child, building a foundation for a brighter future.
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